I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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