As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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