Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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