my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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