wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
