He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
