just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
