she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
