apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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