Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
