the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
