I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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