you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
