I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
