the condom got lost in my hair
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
