oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize