By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
