I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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