my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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