i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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