people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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