So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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