Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
