I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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