Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
