i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
