Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
