Hey man sorry I got all grabby
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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