Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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