i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
