You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I cannot find my penis.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
