i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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