Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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