Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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