Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
