Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
