That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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