it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
