I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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