so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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