Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize