my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
