Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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