So drunk its hurt
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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