Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
