Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I am never drinking with the goths again.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
