Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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