If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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