Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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