I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
