In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
