dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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