Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
