oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
