Sry I called you an 8
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
