Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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