OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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