k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
