I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
