My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
