She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You have to summon your inner elephant
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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