The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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