smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We have so much sex to catch up on
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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