she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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