Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
