You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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