her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
A+ Viking dick
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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