But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize