No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We are two peas in an std pod
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
