My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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